Possessiveness in a relationship

When we talk about relationships the word possessiveness often brings a chill down our spinal cord. It’s not a nice word to use especially when it comes to a turbulent relationship. It says a lot.

But, is getting possessive a recipe for disaster?

I don’t know about the experts but I would say getting possessive to a certain degree is indispensable. It is an indication of much you care for each other. It shows your spouse that there’s someone they could to count on, someone that’s there for them, someone that cares for them. It’s a factor that makes the bond stronger.

You can’t take a happy-go-lucky approach in a long term relationship. If you love freedom then you better be alone. Relationship is for serious people.

Let’s say, in a metre of 100 I would go for 40. Remaining 60 is for ‘trust’. What’s your take on this? Do let me know.

That said, it is equally important to provide for a breathing space to your partner. Try to read your partner’s body language to avoid petty arguments.

Sticking on to my metre, if you go beyond 40 you might feel the boat shaky. It gets much worse afterwards as your possessive nature turns into you being suspicious of every little thing you see or hear. Connecting dots of your choice wouldn’t be much of a trouble. When that happens then you must understand that you have reached a point of no return.

Over Possessiveness leads to suspicion coupled with jealousy and that leads to crime.

Husband and wife relationship: Distance barrier or communication barrier?

In a husband and wife relationship the key to success is the bond between two souls. It is important to understand each other, know each other’s feelings and be there for them. No matter how far you are from one other it is essential to ‘show’ that you are right beside your loved one all the time. Never play with anybodies feelings. It hurts very badly.

Technology has helped us a lot. The world is much smaller now. So then, how about a phone call? or an sms? Easy, isn’t it? A quick phone call helps cut distance barrier. But remember to be genuine while you call or never call at all. You don’t need to chose words or be careful rather be as carefree as you can. Find time to talk and talk wholeheartedly. Put all your feelings into it. Ask each other’s how-abouts while being a good listener. Make them feel that you are sitting right next to him/her. Depending on how deep is your love call them as frequent as you can. (But don’t be irritatingly nice!!) This helps build a bond and shows how much you care.

Many of us might not be an extrovert in showing our feelings. It is for our spouse to gauge our emotions. Say, the husband is out on a business trip and the wife is taking care of the kids back home. It is quite evident that the husband is more likely to miss his family more. If he is an extrovert he will call more often and if he is an introvert he will sit by the phone and wait for his wife call him. Either way, he loves his wife. The wife knows her husband better and vice versa.

So, what is holding you? Firstly understand each other better. Second, love and care for each other without expecting anything in return. Third, be nice and give each other some space if that is what is required for the moment. Fourth, do not argue rather bite your teeth while being a good listener. Fifth, if you are wrong accept it. To err is human. Sixth, let bygones be bygones, do not nag about it. Move on with your life. You cannot rewind and rectify all your wrongs. Eighth, do not accuse each other without proper evidence. Ninth, discuss, communicate with each other regularly on your day to day activities. Little things for you might not be so little for your spouse. Tenth, don’t be so serious! If you haven’t noticed, I have skipped “seventh” point! 😉 Lastly, be that happy couple that all your neighbors envy! God bless you!

Lost in the moment

My brother in law is getting married the day after tomorrow. My wife and her sisters are too busy meticulously executing their part of the wedding plan. Sometimes and it’s quite understandable of them to forget their loved ones in the process. Wedding is a big day not only for the bride and the groom but also for their relatives and friends. Hence, it is the bride, the groom and their loved ones together make a wedding day a day to remember or a memorable day for days to come. Every participant to the pre-wedding & the wedding day itself will have a story to tell. A story they will never forget.

My wife’s family house is about three hours drive from my hometown. It is in a coastal area, hot and humid. As much as I dislike that place my wife loves it! In any case, it’s her place, that’s where she comes from. All her sisters that are scattered in different places have assembled there. The groom, their brother is being pampered. I believe that’s how it is all around the world.

We have an adorable Persian cat in our house. My wife loves to cuddle and play around with it. It’s been her darling for almost two years now. While she is gone it’s in the mercy of a careless maid. He might be missing her as much as he wished to say it out. He might have grown pale and week. Loneliness is one thing cats dislike of all other things or so I believe!

It is just a matter of few more days and things will start from where she had left. She is a messenger of love; she will take it from there. Believe it or not, we don’t forget things we love!

Unconditional love: The wife

I got up with severe headache and a stiffened neck. With a glum face I rode to the office. I envied the ever shining motor bike that carried me all the way through the bumpy road. Tall trees on either side of the road tend to see our ugly combination! ‘What a day?’ they might have whispered. I cut the breeze through the roaring machine but they had no complaints; rather it tickled and revived my feelings. Nothing made any difference as my journey was too short.

Whilst getting into my office building I noticed the old man watering plants. A childlike smile flashed out from his wrinkled skin. He greeted me warmly and I couldn’t resist but throw a smile back at him. His shabby cloth was no barricade to his heart meeting those flower bearing plants. He spoke to them and it seemed to me that they understood him very well. Nodding and tossing, they responded to his tunes. They were fond of him as he cared for them. That, for me, made a perfect couple.

I rang my wife but I couldn’t express my love for her. She sounded calm, caring and loving. My dismal mood couldn’t see any one it. I started getting angry for every word she spoke. I was rude! I hung up before making a fool of myself. What a day indeed!

I miss her now! She is my lady love. I love her for what she is and that’s what makes her so unique, so special. I peeped out of the window. The old man was still watering plants; Unconditional love?! Yes, it is.

Although a bit stubborn, hurting someone is not my cup of tea. Guilty feeling engulfed me for hurting my wife. I had no right to ruin her day. She is such a sweet soul and I love her so dearly. I rang her again but house hold chores might have kept her busy or else she would have picked up my calls instantly.

My emotionally week soul refused to let me work. Being a Manager has its own advantages sometimes. I had no one to report to; not at least today! My line boss might be too busy to care to know what I did as long as he got his reports.

All I had in mind was my wife. It’s my duty as a husband to love her unconditionally and ‘show’ that I do. Ladies always prefer it that way. Show it! That is the mantra. No matter how deep you love someone, unless you show it they cannot see it. That’s obvious, they are not saints anyway. We are humans after all. We don’t see through anybody’s mind or heart. We exhibit ourselves as best as we can. That is exactly why we tell ‘I love you’ a million times but still feel like listening to it from our loved ones.

Life is a stage and we are all merely actors!