Possessiveness in a relationship

When we talk about relationships the word possessiveness often brings a chill down our spinal cord. It’s not a nice word to use especially when it comes to a turbulent relationship. It says a lot.

But, is getting possessive a recipe for disaster?

I don’t know about the experts but I would say getting possessive to a certain degree is indispensable. It is an indication of much you care for each other. It shows your spouse that there’s someone they could to count on, someone that’s there for them, someone that cares for them. It’s a factor that makes the bond stronger.

You can’t take a happy-go-lucky approach in a long term relationship. If you love freedom then you better be alone. Relationship is for serious people.

Let’s say, in a metre of 100 I would go for 40. Remaining 60 is for ‘trust’. What’s your take on this? Do let me know.

That said, it is equally important to provide for a breathing space to your partner. Try to read your partner’s body language to avoid petty arguments.

Sticking on to my metre, if you go beyond 40 you might feel the boat shaky. It gets much worse afterwards as your possessive nature turns into you being suspicious of every little thing you see or hear. Connecting dots of your choice wouldn’t be much of a trouble. When that happens then you must understand that you have reached a point of no return.

Over Possessiveness leads to suspicion coupled with jealousy and that leads to crime.

30 thoughts on “Possessiveness in a relationship

  1. Possessiveness is a negative and unhealthy aspect of any relationship without exception. It is usually indicative of insecurity in one of the participants. Can be worked out through individual therapy, or if married in marital counseling. The interesting dynamic is that the possessive one accomplishes the opposite result to what he intended, and drives the other further away. Good, effective therapy can help to uncover the underlying reasons and help one work through them so it doesn’t show up in future relationships.


  2. I think that the freedom level of a person in a relationship can differ a lot. Some of my friends are in great relationships and give each other complete freedom. Hence the concept of possessiveness also depends.
    For me personally, its 50 – 50. I am a little possessive but not stifling, which is the same I would say for my guy too.
    The balance is always the key.

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  3. A relationship should not be possessive. You are you, and you are here to be yourself. You don’t own anyone and no one owns you. I have been there in a possessive relationship- both ways (both me and him) and it kills everything. If you love someone and they want to be with you. That should be a blessing. Walk together but separate path. Respect and honor each other, but never ever become possessive! it kills the love, your spirit , your partners spirit. I promise you. I f you love someone- set them free. If it’s true love they will stick around, if not? It was not meant to be ❤️

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  4. I’ve been in a relationship where my partner was possessive , claimed he trusted me yet everything I did and everyone I was around bothered him . Over possessiveness truly leads to crime . Possessiveness comes with jealousy too which will cause issues.

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  5. It’s natural to be possessive to some degree in a relationship, especially in a marriage. When you vow to be with each other through better or worse a balanced view of ownership with each other draws you closer together and you’re more willing to work things out when problems arise. However, the key is being balanced. Over possessiveness fosters distrust as you stated and can lead to many others problems if not addressed. In a marriage, love, trust and respect are all needed to build a happy and long-lasting foundation. The Bible has helped me to see that. (Colossians 3:12-14)

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    • Trust alone doesn’t long last if not glued with a little bit of possessiveness. Blind trust will often be misused. That’s when extra marital affairs start to blossom. That’s why citizens enjoy freedom and there’s also a LAW in place to limit the freedom you enjoy. Who would stick to a job if there is no job security? …and that job security is what is holding your trust in a company to perform better.

      Liked by 1 person

      • The older you get the less possessive your nature becomes. In love and life I just appreciate more where I stand now and how I got here.. Yes, I could lose my job or my husband but worrying about something that may not happen is waste of time and life is too precious to waste. If it happens it happens. People come and go in your life, enjoy the moments you have.

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